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contests
Just How Idiotic Are You?
Think you have what it takes to be an Idiot?
Have you often thought to yourself, "My writing is as idiotic as the next person's?" (Assuming the next person is sub-moronic?)
Were you the smartest person in your special ed. class?
The this is the contest for you!
Fiction Contest
First Prize: $75*
Second Prize: $35*
Third Prize: $25*
Contest Rules
- Send previously unpublished stories up to 5,000 words in length. Simultaneous submissions OK.
- Entries must be postmarked by August 15, 2003.(New Deadline!)
- Include a $10 entry fee with each submission. (Or send $15 and receive a year's subscription.) Make checks payable to Sam Hayes, The Idiot, or both!
- Winners will be announced on our website (TheIdiotMagazine.com) and published in our Tenth Anniversary Issue -- 2003. (Losers will be posted on a stake and left for Ortega Borgnine.)
- No manuscripts will be returned unless accompanied by a SASE.
- Judging will be done by a panel of idiots.
Poetry Contest
First Prize: $25*
Second Prize: $15*
Third Prize: $10*
Contest Rules
Same as above, except the entry fee is only $3 per poem ($10 with subscription). No epic poems, please, unless you're writing in Old English.
Send all entries to:
- Fiction / Poetry Contest
- c/o The Idiot
- P.O. Box 69163
- L.A., CA 90069
The small print:
- Entries unaccompanied by the entry fee will not be read. In fact, they will be discarded, nay, buried in my backyard after being thoroughly soiled by Brian.
- Your entry into this contest gives us the right to edit, change, modify, mock, scoff, poke a pointy stick at, or just hail your writing as the most idiotic since humanity first rose out of the primordial ooze and said, "Somebody get me a towel."
- For the complete set of rules, see p. 28 of the current issue of The Idiot.
- Contest void unless at least 30 entries are received in each category.
* That's American Dollars, folks!
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